5 Qualities to look for in a Friend: Imam Ghazali

5 Qualities to look for in a Friend:

From Imam Ghazali’s رحمه الله  Bidayatul Hidayah (The Beginning of Guidance):

You should first consider the stipulations of companionship and friendship so that you will establish the relationship of brotherhood only with those who are fit for brotherhood & friendship. 

The Messenger of God ﺻﻠﯽ الله ﺗﻌﺎﻟﯽٰ ﻋﻠﯿﮧ ﻭﺍٓﻟﮧ ﻭﺳﻠﻢ  said:

“A man is upon the religion of his best friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends.” (Sunan Abu Dawud 4833-Sahih)

1) Intelligence

Sayyidina Ali رضي الله ﺗﻌﺎﻟﯽٰ عنه  said:

Do not be in the company of an ignorant friend; Beware of him & let him beware of you.

How often an ignorant man has brought destruction to a forbearing man who has befriended him.

2) Good Character

Do not be the companion of a man whose character is bad. He is one who is unable to control himself when he is angry and is excited when he desires something. 

3) Righteousness

Do not be the companion of a wicked man (Fasiq) who persists in major sin. This is because he who fears God does not persist in major sin, and he who does not fear God may cause you mischief.

Allah SWT commanded His Prophet (pbuh):

“Do not follow him whose mind We have caused to be neglectful of remembrance of Us and who follows his passions, and whose case exceeds all bounds.” (18:28)

Beware, then of association with a wicked man, because the constant sight of wickedness and sin will remove the dislike of sin from your mind & will create the feeling that sin is something light. The sinfulness of backbiting has become light to man’s mind for this reason and not for the reason that mind cannot understand it. If people see that a Muslim jurist is wearing a gold ring or a silkcloth, they strongly oppose it because they rarely see this, whereas they do not oppose backbiting even though it is a more serious sin, because they always see this.

4) Absence of greed

Companionship of a man greedy for the world is deadly poison, for human nature is such that the nature of one man tends to resemble that of another and to imitate it; indeed, a man’s nature steals the qualities of another man’s nature in such a way that he is not aware of it. Therefore, association with a greedy man will increase your greed, and association with the ascetics will increase your asceticism.

5) Truthfulness

Do not be the companion of a liar, for he is like a mirage: he will show that which is far as near to you and that which is near as far from you.”

Reasons for fearing Allah:

Reasons for fearing Allah: 

(By Imam Ghazali, Imam Ibn Qayyim and Ibn Rajab Hanbali )

The fear of death before repenting; 

the fear of not living up to one's repentance and breaking one's promise; 

the fear of not being able to fulfil Allah's obligations; 

the fear of losing one's softness in the heart and its hardening; 

the fear of losing consistency; 

the fear of allowing temptations to dominate; 

the fear of Allah making one's self responsible for doing goods deeds because of conceit; 

the fear of becoming arrogant and egotistical due to the abundance of bounties; 

the fear of being distracted from Allah by other creation; 

the fear of being led to an evil ending through excessive bounties; 

the fear of being punished early (i.e. in this world); 

the fear of being disgraced at the time of death; 

the fear of being beguiled by the glitter of this world; 

the fear of Allah revealing one's secret in one's state of oblivion; 

the fear of being stamped with a bad death at the time of death; 

the fear of the pangs of death; 

the fear of the questions of Munkar and Nakeer in the grave; 

the fear of the punishment of the grave; 

the fear of the horrors of the horizon (at the time of resurrection); 

the fear of the awe during the presentation in front of Allah; 

the fear and the shame of being naked (at the time of resurrection); 

the fear of being questioned about every little thing in life; 

the fear of the bridge (over Hell) and its sharpness; 

the fear of the fire, its chains and its torment; 

the fear of being deprived of Paradise, the Eternal and everlasting kingdom and abode and 

the fear of being deprived of seeing Allah's tremendous visage. 

May Allah protect us.

4 things to fear even after doing a Good Deed:

4 things to fear even after doing a Good Deed:

Faqih Samarkandi رحمه الله  says that the person who does one good deed should be weary of four things (imagine what a person who commits a sin should be afraid of): 

1. The fear of not being accepted because Allah says:`Allah only accepts from those who fear.' [Maidah: 27] 

2. The fear of showing off, for Allah says: `They have been instructed to worship Allah sincerely; religion is for him Alone.' [Bayinah: 5] 

3. The fear of preserving the good deed because Allah says: `Whoever brings a good deed shall have ten times its reward.' [An`am: 161] 

4. The fear of being deserted in performing good deeds, for Allah says: `My reconciliation (with good) is only through Allah; it is upon Him that I trust and it is to Him that I resort.' [Hud: 88]

Love for Allah makes Ibadah (worshipping) Easy:

Love for Allah makes Ibadah Easy:

"...Those who believe are overflowing in their love for Allah..."(Quran, 2:165)

Love for Allah is the key to success that pushes the person toward righteousness. Thus obedience to Allah not only becomes easy but a delight.

When love enters the heart a person no longer views worship and obedience to Allah as an obligation, but rather as a gift. Therefore that person derives tremendous pleasure from worship and obedience. 

As a result one finds it easy to wake in the night without the need for an alarm clock, for he cherishes each opportunity to worship and remember Allah. The internal clock in the heart becomes sufficient as love wakes him and keeps him awake for long periods of the night.

"Their limbs do forsake their beds of sleep the while they call on their Lord in fear and hope" [Quran, 32:16]

Madly in love with Allah, such people remain restless throughout the night and greet the dawn with longing faces.

A formal relation or a legal tie can never replace true love; for mere form or legality leaves loopholes and finds backdoors, knows of willful interpretations and legal hair-splittings, and gets bored and grows weary. 

True love, on the other hand, knows no misconstruing, no exhaustion, no boredom, for it is the wound as well as the balm, the path as well as the destination. A Persian poet says: 

Lovers know not the journey's exhaustion: Love itself is the path, love the destination! 

Our Nights Vs Sahaba's Nights:

If one were to have walked through the streets of Madinah in the last portion of the night during the time of the Companions, he would have discovered an entire city alive and illuminated with the blessings of worship. Whether in loud or soft voices, every house would be buzzing with the recital of the Holy Quran like honeybees around their hive.
Unfortunately nowadays the situation is very different. Walking during the same portion of the night through any Muslim city, the same person would encounter only the deathly silence of a graveyard. Sadly, the blessings and glory of late night worship are no longer seen, as people remain sound asleep in their warm beds.

The following Dua is reported from the Holy Prophet ﺻﻠﯽ الله ﺗﻌﺎﻟﯽٰ ﻋﻠﯿﮧ ﻭﺍٓﻟﮧ ﻭﺳﻠﻢ asking Allah for His love and joy of worship that highlights the link between them:

"O Allah! Make my love for You the most beloved thing to me, and my fear for You the most fearful thing to me, and remove from me all worldly needs and wants by instilling a passion for meeting You, and when You have given the people of the world the pleasures of their world, make the coolness of my eyes (pleasure) in worshipping You." (Kanzul ‘Ummal: On the authority of Abi Malik)

May Allah give us tawfeeq and His true Love. آمين يا رب العالمين 

-Extracted from writings of Shaikh Zulfiqar Ahmed Db and shaikh Abul Hasan Ali Nadwi رحمه الله 

Searching for faults in others:

Searching for faults in others:

Rasūlullāh (ﷺ) said:
“Blessed is he who is preoccupied with his own defects rather than those of other people.” -Bazzar from Anas رضي الله ﺗﻌﺎﻟﯽٰ عنه  (Hadith graded as Hasan)

Ibn Abbas رضي الله ﺗﻌﺎﻟﯽٰ عنه  said:

“When you feel the need to mention your companion’s faults, remember your own” [Imam Bukhari in Al-Adab Al Mufrad]

Muhammad ibn Sireen رحمه الله  used to say:

“We used to say that those amongst us with the most sins are those who spend their time talking about the sins of others.”

Imam Sufyaan ath-Thawri رحمه الله  said:

“Keep yourself busy in remembering your faults, so that you have no time left to remember the faults of others.”

Ibn Taimiyah said:

“Some people have the disease of criticizing all the time. They forget the good about others and only mention their faults. They are like flies that avoid the good and pure places and land on the bad and wounds. This is because of the evil within the self and the spoiled nature.”

Abu Hatim said:

“Probing and seeking the faults of others is from the branches of hypocrisy just like thinking good of others is from the branches of faith. The intelligent one always has a good opinion of his brothers, and keeps his grief and sadness to himself. As for the ignorant one, he has evil opinion of his brothers and does not think about his crimes and distress.” [Siyar A’lam an-Nubala]

Imam Ash-Shafi’e رحمه الله  said:

”Let not your tongue mention the shame of another, for you yourself are covered in shame, and all men have tongues. If your eye falls upon the sin of your brother, shield them and say ‘O my eye all men have eyes‘.”

Concealing other's Faults & Privately Correcting them:

من ستر مسلما ستره الله في الدنيا والآخرة

On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (RA), that the Prophet ﺻﻠﯽ الله ﺗﻌﺎﻟﯽٰ ﻋﻠﯿﮧ ﻭﺍٓﻟﮧ ﻭﺳﻠﻢ  said: Whoever shields [or hides the misdeeds of] a Muslim, Allah will shield him in this world and the Hereafter."

[Sahih Muslim, Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah & Musnad Ahmad]

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: "He who sees something which should be kept hidden and conceals it will be like the one who has brought to life a girl buried alive (a pre-Islamic practice). - Sunan of Abu-Dawud, Hadith 2292 

Narrated Abu Barzah al-Aslami رضي الله ﺗﻌﺎﻟﯽٰ عنه : The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: O community of people who believed by their tongue and belief did not enter their hearts, do not back-bite Muslims, and do not search for their faults, for if anyone searches for their faults, Allah will search for his fault, and if Allah searches for the fault of anyone, He disgraces him in his own house. -Sunan of Abu Dawud, Number 2283 (Tirmidhi also reported a similar Hadith)

Narrated Abu Huraira رضي الله ﺗﻌﺎﻟﯽٰ عنه: Allah's Apostle ﺻﻠﯽ الله ﺗﻌﺎﻟﯽٰ ﻋﻠﯿﮧ ﻭﺍٓﻟﮧ ﻭﺳﻠﻢ  said, "Beware of suspicion, for it is the worst of false tales and don't look for the other's faults and don't spy and don't hate each other, and don't desert (cut your relations with) one another. O Allah's slaves, be brothers!"  - Sahih Al Bukhari, Vol. 8 Number 717 

 Ibn 'Abbas رضي الله ﺗﻌﺎﻟﯽٰ عنه  said, "If you wish to mention the faults of your friend, mention your own faults first." 
(Imam Bukhari's Book of Manners 329) 

Ibn 'Abbas رضي الله ﺗﻌﺎﻟﯽٰ عنه  said on the  verse of the Qur'an, "Nor defame one another" (49:11), "Do not spend your time finding fault with one another." 
(Imam Bukhari's Book of Manners #330) 

Imam Ibn Al-Mubarak رحمه الله  said:

“Whenever a man would see something from his brother that he dislikes, he would give him orders in private and forbid him in private. So, he would be rewarded for screening his brother and also rewarded for forbidding evil. As for today, whenever a man sees what he dislikes, he angers his brother and unveils his screen.” [Raudatul ‘Uqala, p. 197]

Fudayl Ibn ‘Iyad رحمه الله  said:

“The Believer screens and gives sincere advice and the wicked evil doer unveils and exposes.” [Jami’ul ”Ulum Wal-Hikam, p.77]

Notes:

Rasulullah ﺻﻠﯽ الله ﺗﻌﺎﻟﯽٰ ﻋﻠﯿﮧ ﻭﺍٓﻟﮧ ﻭﺳﻠﻢ  said you should hide the sins of your Muslim brothers.

Exposing other's faults and advising in public is against the principles and of Dawah and is counter productive.

Spiritual roots of the problem:

Attempts to expose other people actually exposes our own spiritual bankruptcy and diseased hearts. 

It is generally a result and symptom of Hasad (envy), Hatred, Takabbur (arrogance), Hubb e Jaah (love for fame), narrow mindedness, prejudice, fanatical sectarianism etc.

We should not be like the kuffar who dig up faults of their opponents.

We should not behave like the tabloid reporters!

This type of behaviour is very detrimental to the Muslim unity yet it is very rife
-because we hate one another.
-because we have different aqeeda or belong to different Jamaat.

-we want to show that we are better than others.

Exceptions:

If the act committed was against the rights of a person, or poses a threat or harm to others or was committed openly with no shame, then there is no concealment and the action should be dealt with appropriately. 

May Allah guide us. آمين يا رب العالمين 

5 Hadiths on Positive Thinking

5 Hadiths on Positive Thinking

By Shaykh Ismail Kamdar 

The Islamic Hadith narrations emphasize positive thinking. Even though many Muslims today choose to think negatively about the world and its inhabitants, Islam actually encourages the opposite. Reflect on these five Hadiths and begin your journey of positive change now:

Hadith #1: Think Win/Win

Amazing is the affair of the believer. Definitely, all of his life is good and this is not for anybody except the believer. If something of good happens to him, he is grateful and that is good for him. If something harmful befalls him, he is patient and that is good for him. (Saheeh Muslim #2999)

This Hadith teaches us to approach all of life positively. The good times are opportunities for gratitude, and the difficult times are tests of patience. Both situations are good for us, so no matter what happens in our lives, there is always a way to benefit from it.

Hadith #2: Think Positive About Allah

I am as My servant thinks of Me. I am with him when he remembers Me. If he mentions Me within himself, I mention him within Myself. If he mentions Me in an assembly, I mention him in a better assembly. If he comes near to Me a handspan, I come near to him the distance of a cubit. If he comes near to Me the distance of a cubit, I come near to him the distance of two outspread arms. If he comes to Me walking, I come to him running. (Sahih Al-Bukhari #6856 and Sahih Muslim #4832)

In this important Hadith Al-Qudsi, Allah Himself informs us of the importance of positive thinking about Him. We must maintain good thoughts about our Creator and not allow the devil to place evil thoughts in our minds. The more positively we think about Allah, the more benefits we will gain from this in this world and the next.

Hadith #3: Avoid negative thoughts

Beware of suspicion, as suspicion is the falsest talk, and do not spy upon each other, and do not listen to the evil talk of the people about others’ affairs, and do not have enmity with one another, but be brothers. And none should ask for the hand of a girl who is already engaged to his (Muslim) brother, but one should wait till the first suitor marries her or leaves her. (Saheeh Bukhari #5970)

Negative thinking about our fellow Muslims is a root cause of enmity, jealousy, and disunity. This Hadith prohibits all causes of negative thinking, whether it be unfounded suspicion, backbiting, or spying. All these sins must be avoided.

Hadith #4: Make things easy

“Make things easy for the people and do not make things difficult for them.” (Saheeh Bukhari #6125)

This simple short advice was aimed primarily at those doing Dawah and teaching Islam. The principle forms one of the primary foundations of Shariah Law i.e. the principle of ease. There are multiple narrations that emphasize this same point. Islam was meant to make life easier for people. Make sure the way you call and guide people to Islam emphasizes the positives and attracts people towards the beauty of Islam.

Hadith #5: Positive Thinking at time of death

Whoever loves the meeting with Allah, Allah too, loves the meeting with him; and whoever hates the meeting with Allah, Allah too, hates the meeting with him. (Saheeh Bukhari #6508)

Positive thinking is so important in Islam, that it is emphasized at the time of death. Muslims should not only think good about their Creator, they should think best of Him. This is especially important at the time of death, that believers be encouraged to focus on Allah’s Mercy and Forgiveness. In doing so, they leave this world in a positive state of mind. Not only should we live positive lives, but we should die in a positive state of mind too.

May Allah protect us all from negative thoughts.

http://islamicselfhelp.com/2016/01/23/5-hadith-on-positive-thinking/