The Cure for Kibr (Pride)- Imam Uthman dan Fodio

 The Cure for Kibr (Pride)

Imam Uthman dan Fodio
Translated by A`isha `Abd ar-Rahman at-Tarjumana

As far as its cure is concerned, there are two parts: the knowledge-cure and the action-cure. The remedy can only be effected by joining the two of them.

1- The knowledge-cure

The knowledge-cure is to know and recognise yourself and to know and recognise your Lord. That will be enough to remove your pride. Whoever knows and recognises his own self as it should be known and recognised, knows that it is not worthy of greatness, and that true greatness and pride are only for Allah. As for gnosis of his Lord and His glory, it is too lengthy a subject for us to discuss here [...].

Self-recognition is also a lengthy subject. However, we will mention what will help you towards humility and submisiveness. It is enough for you to recognise one ayat of the Book of Allah. The knowledge of the first and the last is in the Qur'an for whoever has his inner eye open. Allah ta`ala said: "Perish man! How thankless he is! Of what did He create him? Of a sperm-drop. He created him, and determined him, and then made him the way easy for him. Then He makes him die, buries him, and then, when He wills, raises him."

This ayat points to the beginning of man's creation, his end, and his middle. Let a man look at that if he desires to understand its meaning.

As for the beginning of man, he was "a thing unremembered". He was concealed in non-existence. Non-existence has no beginning. What is lower and meaner than obliteration and non-existence? He was in non-existence. Then Allah created him from the basest of things, and then from the most unclean thing. He created him from earth and then from a sperm-drop, thena blood-clot, then a lump of flesh. Then He made the flesh bones, and then clothes the bones in flesh. This was the beginning of his existence and then he became a thing remembered. He was a thing unremembered by reason of having he lowest of qualities and attributes since at his beginning, he was not created perfect. he was created inanimate, dead. He neither heard, saw, felt, moved, spoke, touched, perceived, or knew. He began by his death before his life, by weakness before his strength, by ignorance before knowledge, by blindness before sight, by deafness before hearing, by dumbness before speech, by misguidance before guidance, by poverty before wealth, and by incapacity before capacity.

This is the meaning of His word, "From what did He create him? And determined him," and the meaning of His word, "Has there come upon a man a period of time when he was a thing unremembered? We created him of a sperm-drop, a mingling, trying him. We made him hearing, seeing. We guided him upon the way, whether he is thankful or unthankful."

He created him like that at the beginning. Then He was gracious to him and said, "We made the way easy for him." This indicates what He wills for him during the period from life to death. Similarly, He said, "of a sperm-drop, a mingling, trying him. We made him hearing, seeing. We guided him on the way." The meaning here is that He gave him life after he was inanimate and dead - first from the earth, and then from a sperm-drop. He gave him hearing after he was deaf and He gave him sight after he lacked sight. He gave him strenght after weakness and knowledge after ignorance. He created his limbs for him with all they contain of marvels and signs after he lacked them. He enriched them after poverty, made him full after hunger, clothed him after nakedness, and guided him after misguidance. Look how He directed him and formed him. Look at how He made the way easy for him. Look at man's overstepping and at how thankless he is. Look at man's ignorance and how he shows it.

Allah ta`ala said, "Part of His sign is that He created you from earth." He created man from humble earth and unclean sperm after pure non-existence so that he would recognise the baseness of his essence and thereby recognise himself. He perfected the sperm-drop for him so that he would recognise his Lord by it and know His immensity and majesty by it, and that He is the only one worthy of true greatness and pride. For that reason, He described him and said, "Have We not given him two eyes and a tongue and two lips, and guided him on the two roads?"

He first acquainted him with his baseness and said, "Was he not a sperm-drop extracted? Then he was a blood-clot. Then He mentioned His favour and said, "He created and fashioned and made a pair from it, male and female," in order to perpetuate his existence by reproduction as his existence was acquired in the beginning by original formation. When you begin in this manner and your states are like this, how can you have arrogance, pride, glory, and conceit? Properly speaking, man is the lowest of the low and the weakest of the weak. Indeed, even if He had perfected him, delegated his command to him and made his existence go on by his own choice, he would still dare to be insolent and would forget his beginning and his end. However, during your existence, He has given illnesses power over you, whether you like it or not, and whether you are content or enraged. You become hungry and thirsty without being able to do anything about it. You do not possess any power to bring either harm or benefit. You want to know something but you remain ignorant of it. You want to remember something and yet you forget it. You want to not forget something and yet you do forget it. You want to direct your heart to waht concerns it and yet you are caught up in the valleys of whispersings and thoughts. You own neither your heart nor your self. You desire something while your destruction may be in it, and you detest something while your life may be in it. You find some foods delicious when they destroy and kill you, and you find remedies repugnant when they help you and save you. You are not safe for a moment, day or night. Your sight, knowledge, and power may be stripped away, your limbs may become semi-paralysed, your intellect may be stolen away, your ruh may be snatched away, and all that you love in this world may be taken from you. You are hard-pressed, abased. If you are left alone, you go on. If you are snatched away, you are annihilated. A mere slave. A chattel. You have no power over yourself or anyone else. What can be more abased? If you recognise yourself, how can you think yourself worthy of pride? If it were not for your ignorance - and this is your immediate state - you would reflect on it. Your end is death. It is indicated by His word, "Then He makes him die and buries him. Then, when He wills, He raises him." The meaning here is that your ruh, hearing, sight, knowledge, power, senses, perception, and movement are all stripped away. You revert to the inanimate as you were in the first place. Only the shape of your limbs remains. Your form has neither senses nor movement. Then you are placed in the earth and your limbs decay. You become absent after you existed. You become as if you were not, as you were at first for a long period of time. Then a man wishes that he could remain like that. How excellent it would be if he were left as dust! However, after a long time, He brings him back to life to subject him to a severe trial. He comes out of his grave after his spearated parts are joined together, and he steps out to the terrors of the Rising. He is told, "Come quickly to the Reckoning and prepare for the Outcome!" His heart stops in fear and panic when he is faced with the terror of these words even before his pages are spread out and he sees his shameful actions in them. This is the end of his affair. It is the meaning of His word, "Then when He wishes, He raises him."

How can anyone whose state this is be arrogant? A moment of freedom from grief is better than arrogance. He has shown the beginning and the middle of his condition. If his end had appeared to him - and we seek refuge from Allah - perhaps he would have chosen to be a dog or a pig in order to become dust with the animals rather than a hearing, speaking man, and meet with punishment (if he deserves the Fire). When he is in the presence of Allah then even the pig is nobler than him since it reverts to dust and it is spared from the Reckoning and the punishment. Someone with this state at the Rising can only hope for pardon, and he cannot be at all certain about it. How then can he be arrogant? How can he see himself as anything to which excellence is attached? This is the knowledge-cure.

2- The action-cure :

As far as the action-cure is concerned, it is to humble yourself to people in a constrained unnatural manner until it becomes natural for you.

Kibr (Pride) and it's dangers- by Imam Uthman dan Fodio

Kibr (Pride) and it's dangers Imam Uthman dan Fodio   Translated by A`isha `Abd ar-Rahman at-Tarjumana

Pride is one of the blameworthy qualities and it is forbidden to have it. Allah ta`ala said: "I will turn away from My signs those who are arrogant in the earth without right." As far as its reality is concerned, you should know that pride is divided into inward and outward pride. Inward pride is a quality within the self, and outward pride is action which appears through the limbs.

The name pride (kibr) is more appropriate for the inward quality. As for action, it is the result of that quality, and you must know that the quality of pride demands action. When it appears on the limbs, it is called arrogance (takabbur), and when it does not manifest itself, it is called pride (kibr). Its root is the quality in the self which is satisfaction and confidence at seeing the self above anyone towards whom he is overbearing. Mere self-exaltation does not make someone arrogant. He might well exalt himself while seeing that another person is greater than him or his equal. In this case, he is not overbearing toward him. It is not enough merely to disdain others. In spite of his disdain, a person might see himself as more despicable and therefore, he would not be considered arrogant. If someone sees the other as his equal, he is not considered arrogant. He must see that he has a rank and someone else has a rank, and then see his rank as above the other's rank. When he exalts his own value in relationship to someone else, he despises the one below him and puts himself above the other's company and confidence. If it is very extreme, he may spurn the other's service and not consider him worthy to stand in his presence. If it is less extreme, he may reject his basic equality, and put himself above this other in assemblies, wait for him to begin the greeting, think that it is unlikely that he will be able to fulfill his demands and be amazed at him. If he objects, the proud man scorns to answer him. If he warns him, he refuses to accept it. If he answers him back, he is angry. When the proud man teaches, he is not courteous to his students. He looks down upon them and rebuffs them. He is very condescending toward them and exploits them. He looks at the common people as if he were looking at asses. He thinks that they are ignorant and despicable.

The dangers of Kibr-

There are many actions which come from the quality of pride. They are too many to be numbered. This is the reality of pride.

The harm it does is immense. The 'ulama' can help you but little against it, let alone the common people. How could its harm be other than great when it comes between a man and all the qualities of the mu'minun? Those qualities are the doors to the Garden. Pride locks all those doors because it is impossible for him to want for the mu'minun what he wants for himself while there is anything of self-importance in him. It is impossible for him to have humility - and humility is beginning of the qualities of those who guard themselves out of fear of Allah - while there is any self-importance in him. It is impossible for him to remain truthful while there is self-importance in him. It is impossible for him to abandon anger while there is self-importance in him. It is impossible for him to offer friendly good counsel while there is self importance in him. It is impossible for him to accept good counsel while there is self-importance in him. He is not safe from the contempt and slander of others while there is self-importance. There is no praiseworthy quality but he is incapable of it from the fear that his self-importance will slip away from him.

What to do when some one praises you- Mufti Taqi Usmani

How to handle praise?

-  Mufti Taqi Usmani (D.B)

(reported from Imam Auza’i  in Shu’ab al -iman of Imam Baihaqi)

Imam Baihaqi reported in Shu'ab al-Iman from Imam Auza’i (R.A) “When some one praises a person infront of him, he should say:

Allahumma anta a’alamu bee minnafsee wa ana a’alamu binafsee minan naas Allaahumma laa tu'aakhidhnee bimaa yaqooloona, waghfir lee maa laa ya'lamoona”

" Oh Allah! You know me better than myself and I know about myself  better than what the people know about me.  Oh Allah do not call me to account for what they say & forgive me for what they have no knowledge of (i.e. my faults and defects)."

The praise of people is not less than a fitnah for those who serve the deen by speech or writing. So, praising in front of the person is prohibited as it gives rise to the disease of vanity. Imam Auza’i has prescribed this du’a to cure it.

Shaykh Dr. Abdul Hai Arifi (R.A)'s advise:

Shaykh Dr. Abdul Hai Arifi (R.A) used to say that if someone praises you, then say in your heart, “Oh Allah! All thanks be to you that you have shown only my virtues to this person, for, if you were to expose my weaknesses and defects, he would hate me.”

He would also say, “ Desire for fame and praise cannot be satisfied by one’s own effort but it is up to others to fulfill it. Even if it is fulfilled, it is very short lived. Man should think, “what is the benefit achieved from this praise”?

Checklist: Am I progressing in my Deen?

Checklist: Am I progressing in my Deen?

‘Join XYZ-Jamat or PQRS-Tariqa!’

A common advice we all often get. Directly or indirectly by our well-wishers. Most of us are offended and become defensive. We retaliate with our own suggestions. A few become confused. A smaller number becomes disillusioned by these rivalries and schisms.  May Allah save us all from these disasters. Amin!

The sincerity of these well-wishers can not be questioned at all.

However, it should be a wake up alarm to us. Following questions must pop-up in our mind. Why did this person suggest this to me in particular? Am I following  correctly and progressing in my religious effort? Or there is something that made this person feel that I need to improve?

Thinking on these lines this lowly writer came up with a random quick checklist for myself. InshaAllah, it will be beneficial for others.

The Checklist:

I need to have explicit answers to the following statements from the time I joined this specific group,jamat, tariqa or started on my own to be more religious ,

1. I thoroughly studied the fiqh of everyday worship and apply it meticulously.

2. Made record of my missed salah, fasts, zikah, hajj and financial dues. I am trying to compensate for them.

3. I have improved my tajweed.

4. My actions on Sunna has increased. That is, appearance, manners, actions and supplications for different occasions like waking up, eating, sleeping, wearing clothes, etc.

5. My salah is more organized, on time, in congregation (if masjid is close by) with better concentration.

6. I deal with humility when interacting with my family members (especially parents and spouse) and others.

7. I can better control my anger.

8. My school/college/work performance has increased or at least not deteriorated.

9. My involvement in useless (TV, Internet, news, magazines, novels, etc.) has decreased substantially.

10. I am worried about causing discomfort and harm to others and try my best to avoid it.

11. The sins I used to commit previously have decreased substantially in frequency and intensity.

12. My day is better organized with time allocations for recitation of Holy Quran, dhikr and religious reading.

13. I do not look down upon fellow Muslims.

If answers to most (>11) of the above questions is affirmative then we need to be thankful to Allah and continue on our path to perform even better.

However, if this is not the case then there are two possibilities.

Firstly, either we are not following the teachings of that group, jamat or tariqa correctly.

Or if we are doing all the things as per instruction then that group, jamat or tariqa is invalid or unsuitable for us. At least this is true for us, maybe secondary to our circumstances and environment. It is in this case that we need to pay heed to the advice of that well-wisher and look into the XYZ & PQRS option.

Shaykh Mawlana Mufti Mohammad Taqi Usmani (may Allah preserve him) said,

‘In a Prophetic tradition (hadith) it is narrated that; the person whose two days are the same is in big loss.

This means that his today was spent in the same manner as yesterday and no progress occurred.

That is,  progress in being more religious, in spiritual evolution, increase in worship and improvement in obedience, following of Sunna and abundance in Allah’s remembrance.’

-Taken with thanks from http://www.ashrafiya.com

The Blessings of Gratitude and Shukr

Gratitude (shukr) is about expressing thanks and appreciation to those who do any favor to us. Obviously, none can come close to our creator, Allah, who gave us everything. As the Quran states: “Who created you, fashioned you perfectly, and gave you due proportion” [Infitar 82:7]. As humans, Allah has bestowed on us the nature to be grateful and we should thus express that gratitude not just to Allah but to the people whom we deal with as well. In many places in the Quran, Allah divides people as being grateful and as ungrateful to motivate us to join the camp of those who are grateful. In one of such verses, Prophet Sulaiman said, as stated in the Quran, “. . . then when (Sulaiman (Solomon)) saw it placed before him, he said: "This is by the Grace of my Lord to test me whether I am grateful or ungrateful! And whoever is grateful, truly, his gratitude is for (the good of) his own self, and whoever is ungrateful, (he is ungrateful only for the loss of his own self). Certainly! My Lord is Rich (Free of all wants), Bountiful" [An-Naml: 40]

Having a sense of gratitude is thus a great blessing and those of us who instill that sense within themselves not only seek Allah’s pleasure but embody a sense of happiness, relieving us of the many pressures and anxieties. Although the blessings and benefits of gratitude are many, this post highlights certain important ones that you should recognize and use as a means to motivate that sense within yourselves.

Gratitude is knowing that whatever we have is from Allah. Gratitude helps us focus our minds on Allah, something that has unfortunately become so difficult today on account of life’s distractions and attractions. Gratitude, therefore, corrects our perceptions by reminding us that everything that happens to us doesn’t happen because of its own volition and thus we shouldn’t take matters for “granted”. Allah says in the Quran: “And whatever of blessings and good things you have, it is from Allah” [al-Nahl 16:53]. He also says, “And He found you poor and made you rich (self?sufficient with self?contentment)”[al-Duha 93:8]. Let’s therefore constantly remind ourselves of Allah’s bounties by expressing our gratitude to Him in prayers and at other times.

Gratitude helps in warding off punishment from Allah. Not recognizing Allah’s blessings can prevent us from gaining His pleasure. We know that if Allah were to punish us for our negligence, He would be justified for it. He says in the Quran: “If Allah took mankind to task by that which they deserve, He would not leave a living creature on the surface of the earth; but He grants them reprieve unto an appointed term, and when their term comes – then verily Allah is Ever All-Seer of His slaves” [Fatir (35):45]. At the same time though, Allah provides us a way to escape that punishment by being thankful to Him. He says, “Why should Allah punish you if you have thanked (Him) and have believed in Him. And Allah is Ever All-Appreciative (of good), All-Knowing”[(An-Nisa, Verse #147)]. Gratitude, therefore, is not an option and we should clean our hearts to thank Allah for everything that He has provided us.

Gratitude helps us to slow down and to enjoy what we have rather than always waiting for the next wish to come true. Gratitude can help us recognize that we already have enough of what many people have for long been yearning for. We must therefore tame our Nafs to understand that if we can’t find happiness in the blessings that we have today, then we won’t be happy with what we get tomorrow. You see, gratitude is a sense of fulfillment that comes not from wanting more but rather from a sense of knowing that Allah has already blessed us with what we need. In one of the hadiths the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “…if the son of Adam has one valley, he will wish that he had a second, and if he had two valleys, he would wish that he had a third. The stomach of the son of Adam will be filled only with dust (i.e., he is never satisfied)…” (Reported by Ahmad, 5/219; Saheeh al-Jaami’, 1781). So, let’s use gratitude to learn to enjoy what we have rather than fretting over what we don’t.

Gratitude sought by exercising patience against unlawful desires prevents us from harmful consequences later. This was very aptly addressed by Ibn Qayyim, who stated that “Patience in resisting desires is easier than patience in dealing with the consequences that result from going along with desires, because it either leads to pain and punishment or it prevents a more complete pleasure, . . . or it deprives one of a blessing, having which is more pleasurable and better than fulfilling desires, . . . or it cuts off an oncoming blessing, or it has a negative impact on one’s character that will remain, because deeds have a great impact on one’s character and behavior.” [Al-Fawaa’id (p. 139)]

Gratitude trains our minds to focus on the right things in life. It’s akin to walking in a room filled with various colored items and focusing only on items of a specific color. If you do so, your mind will be able to easily mask the other colors as you focus on items of that specific color. Our life is no different. When we let our minds look for problems, we see plenty of them. Instead, if we rather look away from problems and focus on possibilities and go for solutions, we will get those too. Let’s, therefore, use gratitude to motivate ourselves to find possibilities and solutions and not the negatives associated with problems.

Gratitude helps us recognize other people’s favors to us. The Prophet through his sayings made it quite clear that expressing our gratitude to Allah by thanking Him also involves that we thank people who do favors for us. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said as narrated by Abu Hurairah: “He who does not thank people, does not thank Allah” (Ahmad, Tirmidhi). He also said: “Whoever does you a favor, then reciprocate, and if you cannot find anything with which to reciprocate, then pray for him until you think that you have reciprocated him” Abu Dawood (1672). In another hadith, he said: “Whoever has a favor done for him and says to the one who did it, ‘Jazak Allahu khayran,’ has done enough to thank him” [Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi]. Let’s therefore ensure that we do our part to sincerely thank our families and those who have done good to us.

Gratitude isn’t about ignoring our problems. On the contrary, gratitude helps us to be patient, accepting of life’s trials, and accordingly trains us to seek personal fulfillment with less. Gratitude thus makes us “low maintenance” in our demands and expectations. This trait reduces our burden on those around us, making our company more pleasing to others instead of leaving us always unhappy, more demanding, and impossible to please because of unending requirements.

Gratitude is going beyond words and instead thanking through our actions. We see this in the example of the prophet whose sins were forgiven by Allah although he continued to strive for His pleasure. It was narrated that Aa’ishah said: “When the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) prayed, he would stand for so long that his feet would become swollen. ‘Aa’ishah said: O Messenger of Allah, are you doing this when Allah has forgiven your past and future sins? He said: “O ‘Aa’ishah, should I not be a thankful slave?” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (4557) and Muslim (2820). Let’s, therefore, pray the extra nawafil as one way to thank Allah for His blessings.

Gratitude helps increase one’s blessings. Allah says: “And (remember) when your Lord proclaimed: ‘If you give thanks (by accepting Faith and worshipping none but Allah), I will give you more (of My Blessings); but if you are thankless, verily, My punishment is indeed severe’” [Ibraaheem 14:7] Let’s, therefore, make thanking Allah part of morning and evening remembrances (adhkars) to get more of Allah’s blessings in our lives.

Gratitude helps us to get the pleasure of Allah in the hereafter when in Paradise we express our gratitude to Allah for His blessings to enter us into paradise. Abul-Abbaas al-Qurtubi said: “. . . gratitude for blessings – even if they are few – is a means of attaining the pleasure of Allah, may He be exalted, which is the noblest situation of the people of Paradise. When the people of Paradise say, “You (Allah) have given to us what You have not given to anyone among Your creation,” Allah will say to them: “Shall I not give you something better than that?” They will say, “What is it? Have You not brightened our faces, and admitted us to Paradise and saved us from Hell?” Allah will say, “I bestow My pleasure upon you, and I will never be angry with you after that.” [Al-Mufhim lima ashkala min Talkhees Kitaab Muslim (7/60, 61)]. What better reward can we expect? So, why not be grateful to Him for what He has provided us day and night?

Conclusion

Gratitude’s importance was emphasized by the Prophet when he took the hand of Mu’aadh ibn Jabal and said: “O Mu’aadh, by Allah I love you, by Allah I love you.” Then he said, “I advise you, O Mu’aadh, do not fail to say this after every prayer: O Allah help me to remember You, to thank You and to worship You properly.” The Arabic version of this Hadith is the following. Let’s ensure that we memorize it and recite it after every prayer.

Allahumma A’inni Ala dhikrika wa shukrika wa husni ibadatika

Finally, remember that being grateful is not an option and being one brings us closer to those whom we thank and appreciate.

Taken with thanks from Iqrasense site 

The Adab (Manners) of Listening in Islam

The Art of Listening...

Many of us talk much and listen little. Of the manners in Islam is the art of listening when a person starts to tell you something whether in private or in the company of others. If what that person is talking about is something you already know very well, you should not hasten to let everyone know, but you should pretend as if you do not know it. One major issue amongst Muslims today is that we rush in to reveal our knowledge or to interfere in speech, not considering the person who is speaking or the severity of illness in our ettiquettes. One should show attention and concentration no matter what.

One of the Tabi'i Imam Ata ibn Abi Rabah (رضى الله عنه) said:

"A young man would tell me something that I may have heard before he was borm. Nevertheless, I listen to him as if I had never heard it before."

Khalid ibn Safwan al-Tamimi, who frequented the courts of the two Khalif'as Umar ibn And' al-Aziz (رضى الله عنه) and Hisham ibn 'Abd al-Malik (رضى الله عنه) said:

"If a person tells you something you have heard before, or news that you already learnt, do not interrupt him to exhibit your knowledge to those present. This is rude and ill mannered."

A wise man said to his son:
" Learn the art of listening as you learn the art of speaking"


Listening well means to maintain eye contact (when appropriate), allowing the speaker to finish their speech and restraining your urge to interrupt his speech.

"Never interrupt a talk, though you know it inside out".

- Al Hafiz al-Khatib al-Baghdadi

So one must try to be an attentive listener, giving the speaker respect while they talk, not harming them physically or mentally. We should think before we speak. Whether we agree or disagree with what is being said, we should always follow the correct ettiquette as Muslims.

(-Taken from a blog on Mufti Mohammed bin Adam's commentary on Shaykh Abdul Fattah Abu Ghudda's 'min Adab il Islam')

UJUB (VANITY or NARCISSISM) & it's Islamic cure

UJUB (VANITY or NARCISSISM) from Islamic perspective

(From 'Shariah and Tariqah' based on Maulana Ashraf Ali Thanwi's teachings)

Allah Ta'ala says:

"(Remember the time) when your great number pleased you (instilling vanity in you)."

Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam said:

"And the destroyers are: desires which are followed; stinginess which is obeyed; and a man being pleased with himself and this (last trait) is the worse of them (of the things which spiritually wrought destruction to one)." -Reported by Imam Bayhaqi

What is Ujub?
Ujub is to attribute one's excellence to oneself while being oblivious of the possibility of such excellence being snatched away by Allah Ta'ala. Ujub is a concealed and subtle trick of the nafs which always desires to occupy a distinguished rank (above others). The nafs obtains pleasure in this desire (of ujub). Allah Ta'ala detests one who considers himself to be distinguished, laudable and the receptacle of excellence.

Delight over the bounties granted by Allah Ta'ala is not ujub. Such true delight is not unrestricted and does not produce vanity since the fear of the elimination of the bounties is ever present in the heart. One realizes that the excellence or bounty which one has gained is purely a gift from Allah Ta'ala Who has awarded it because of some act or knowledge (which is also the favour of Allah), and one further realizes that Allah Ta'ala has the full power of snatching away the bounty at any time He desires. This experience of delight is therefore not ujub. On the other hand, a person suffering from the ailment of ujub becomes neglectful and fails to recognize
that the bounty in his possession is in fact a gift from Allah Ta'ala. One afflicted with ujub considers himself to be entitled to the bounties.
Ujub resembles takabbur (pride) in all aspects, save one, viz., ujub does not necessarily imply others to be one's inferiors. A person involved in the disease of ujub considers himself to be of a lofty rank without necessarily regarding another to be his inferior. According to the Hadith Shareef the man of ujub strutting about in arrogance will meet Allah Ta'ala on the Day of Qiyaamah in the state of severe wrath.

THE REMEDY

Always regard excellence and virtues which one possesses to be the bestowal of Allah Ta'ala. Contemplate on the power of Allah and fear the possibility of the gifts being snatched away. Ponder about your faults, both internal and external so that the notion of perfection and holiness is annihilated.

Destructive Disease of the Heart–Narcissism ('Ujub')

Disease of the Heart–Narcissism (inordinate fascination with oneself; excessive self-love; vanity)

-Margari Aziza Hill

I just read that today’s college students are more narcissistic than their earlier counterparts (Study: College Students More Narcissistic http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070227/...K0GTLPGaDMWM0F). It reminds me of a talk that Dr. Robert Frager, a noted pyschologist and Sufi, gave last year about the diseases of the heart. During that lecture, I remember a deep fear sinking into the pit of my stomach. It was not for me, even though I have a whole bunch of personal work, but for a friend that I no longer speak to. Frager mentioned that a person with a diseased heart hates criticism even when the criticism is to help them actualize the person they are truly meant to be. Frager also stated that this type of person is afraid of intimacy and therefore cannot get close anyone. After hearing this talk, I really wanted to be there for my friend. I really wanted to have a real conversation about what I learned. But it never happened. Which is best because I probably would have been attacked regardless of my intentions. It makes me sad, because I truly believe in that person and believe that they can make a world of difference if they stopped surrounding themselves by people who only gave them adulation and ignored their shortcomings. We are often able to see the flaws in others, but rarely in ourselves. Yet I am one of those hyper self-critical people; I am aware of my flaws, but find it difficult to overcome them. I know narcissism when I see it, because I’ve developed antibodies for it. And one only has such antibodies if they have been afflicted with this pathology at one point or another. I state this humbly. There is no benefit in me being self-righteous.

Narcissism

Narcissists use their looks to get what they want, is able to plan and work towards goals successfully, loves themself, optimistic, sparkling, achiever, self promoting, self assured, success driven, thinks they can charm anyone, ambitious, elegant, thinks they are better looking than most people (which they may or may not be), believes that they are special, more a leader than a follower, believes that other people are envious of them, loves to win awards, fits in most places, seductive, purposeful, believes in success through appearances, assertive, goal oriented, would love to have buildings and monuments named after them, believes they deserve all the good things they have, likes to be popular

Narcissism – Global Advanced Trait Descriptions


NARCISSISM (n. sing.)

A pattern of traits and behaviours which signify infatuation and obsession with one’s self to the exclusion of all others and the egotistic and ruthless pursuit of one’s gratification, dominance and ambition.

Narcissism is named after the ancient Greek myth of Narcissus who was a handsome Greek youth who rejected the desperate advances of the nymph Echo. In punishment of his cruelty, he was doomed to fall in love with his own reflection in a pool of water. Unable to consummate his love, he pined away and changed into the flower that bears his name to this very day.

WHAT IS NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder)?

The Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) has been recognized as a seperate mental health disorder in the third edition of the Diagnostic and Statistics Manual (DSM) in 1980. Its diagnostic criteria and their interpretation have undergone a major revision in the DSM III-R (1987) and were substantially revamped in the DSM IV in 1994. The European ICD-10 basically contains identical language.

An all-pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behaviour), need for admiration or adulation and lack of empathy, usually beginning by early adulthood and present in various contexts. Five (or more) of the following criteria must be met:

Feels grandiose and self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents to the point of lying, demands to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)

Is obsessed with fantasies of unlimited success, fame, fearsome power or omnipotence, unequalled brilliance (the cerebral narcissist), bodily beauty or sexual performance (the somatic narcissist), or ideal, everlasting, all-conquering love or passion

Firmaly convinced that he or she is unique and, being special, can only be understood by, should only be treated by, or associate with, other special or unique, or high-status people (or institutions)

Requires excessive admiration, adulation, attention and affirmation -or, failing that, wishes to be feared and to be notorious (narcissistic supply).

Feels entitled. Expects unreasonable or special and favourable priority treatment. Demands automatic and full compliance with his or her expectations

Is “interpersonally exploitative”, i.e., uses others to achieve his or her own ends
Devoid of empathy. Is unable or unwilling to identify with or acknowledge the feelings and needs of others

Constantly envious of others or believes that they feel the same about him or her
Arrogant, haughty behaviours or attitudes coupled with rage when frustrated, contradicted, or confronted.

The language in the criteria above is based on or summarized from:

American Psychiatric Association. (1994). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders, fourth edition (DSM IV). Washington, DC: American Psychiatric Association.

Sam Vaknin. (1999). Malignant Self Love – Narcissism Revisited, first edition. Prague and Skopje: Narcissus Publication. (“Malignant Self Love – Narcissism Revisited” http://www.geocities.com/vaksam/faq1.html )

More Data About Pathological Narcissists

Most narcissists (75%) are men.
NPD (=the Narcissistic Personality Disorder) is one of a “family” of personality disorders (formerly known as “Cluster B”). Other members: Borderline PD, Antisocial PD and Histrionic PD.
NPD is often diagnosed with other mental health disorders (“co-morbidity”) – or with substance abuse, or impulsive and reckless behaviours (“dual diagnosis”).
NPD is new (1980) mental health category in the Diagnostic and Statistics Manual (DSM).
There is only scant research regarding narcissism. But what there is has not demonstrated any ethnic, social, cultural, economic, genetic, or professional predilection to NPD.
It is estimated that 0.7-1% of the general population suffer from NPD.
Pathological narcissism was first described in detail by Freud. Other major contributors are: Klein, Horney, Kohut, Kernberg, Millon, Roningstam, Gunderson, Hare.
The onset of narcissism is in infancy, childhood and early adolescence. It is commonly attributed to childhood abuse and trauma inflicted by parents, authority figures, or even peers.
There is a whole range of narcissistic reactions – from the mild, reactive and transient to the permanent personality disorder.
Narcissists are either “Cerebral” (derive their narcissistic supply from their intelligence or academic achievements) – or “Somatic” (derive their narcissistic supply from their physique, exercise, physical or sexual prowess and “conquests”).
Narcissists are either “Classic” – see definition below – or they are “Compensatory”, or “Inverted” – see definitions here: “The Inverted Narcissist” – http://www.geocities.com/vaksam/faq66.html
NPD is treated in talk therapy (psychodynamic or cognitive-behavioural). The prognosis for an adult narcissist is poor, though his adaptation to life and to others can improve with treatment. Medication is applied to side-effects and behaviours (such as mood or affect disorders and obsession-compulsion) – usually with some success.

The narcissistic individuals that I know usually have a hubris whirling around them. There are many narcissists who are attractive, and use their looks and charm to manipulate others. Then there many narcissists that are highly attractive individuals, not in the physical sense, but have alluring qualities that appeal to others in a non-sexual way. They draw people to them because they are purpose driven and charismatic. They wouldn’t want to live their lives any other way. They like to be in the center of action–making things happen. Some of us get sucked in because we want to help, but they are selling a pipe dream that is corrupted by their own misguidance. Sometimes we can navigate their social pathologies and get something done, but often their larger than life egos get in the way. Mental illness and diseases of the heart are unlike other diseases. You can’t contract them. But I have never seen a narcissist cured. It is especially tragic to see Muslim narcissists because our traditions have diagnosed this disease and have a treatment to help treat those who are afflicted.

Some narcissists are humbled, but it is usually in old age, maybe after a stroke or something, but that is after leaving a whole path of destruction in their wake. They cause a world of hurt and have little empathy for those they leave damaged. They don’t recognize that they are sick, nor do the people who are loyal to them and condone their behavior. Those who are hurt by narcissists need to recognize that the perpetrators are truly sick individuals. Instead of being angry, we should feel sorry for them and their self delusions.

It is important for all of us to understand this disorder because narcissists are usually quick to place themselves in positions of leadership or power in our communities.
Al-Bukhari and Muslim have reported on the authority ofAbdullah ibn Umar that the Messenger of Allah (saw) said: “Truly, Allah will not take away knowledge by snatching it away from people, but by taking away the lives of the people of knowledge one by one until none of them survive. Then the people will adopt ignorant ones as their leaders. They will be asked to deliver judgements and they will give them without knowledge, with the result that they will go astray and lead others astray.”

When ‘Ubadah ibn as-Samit was asked about this hadith he said: If you want, I will tell you what the highest knowledge is, which raises people in rank: it is humility.”

He said this because there are two types of knowledge. The first produces its fruit in the heart. It is knowledge of Allah, the Exalted – His Names, His Attributes, and
His Acts – which commands fear, respect, exaltation, love, supplication and reliance on Him. this is the beneficial type of knowledge. As ibn Mas’ud said: “they will recite the Qur’an, but it will not go beyond their throats. The Qur’an is only
beneficial when it reaches the heart and is firmly planted in it.”

Some communities are able to isolate the narcissists. And other narcissists display behavior that is so transgressive and destructive that everyone has enough sense not to place them in positions of power. Still narcissists often have a circle of followers. They may be the dissenters in a community, raising a ruckus for whatever reason. Sometimes, they are productive and can be useful vehicles for doing good works. Though if not reigned in, they can reverse all those positive gains. Often, those that are under direct influence of these sick individuals are left hurt and feel manipulated. Sometimes the machinations of a narcissist can have ruinous effects and be detrimental to the mental stability of those who try to help them and their causes. In their pain, the victims develop other diseases of the heart:depression and despair or jealousy and envy.


Umar bin Al-Khattab, Radi-Allahu unhu, narrates: I heard Allah’s Apostle saying, “The reward of deeds depends upon the intentions. And every person will get the reward according to what he has intended.”

It is important that we recognize the diseases of the heart, such as narcissism, as they manifest themselves in our communities. Narcissists often warp shari’ah to suit their own purposes by bending the rules and apply them according to their whims. They participate in events or do certain things (frequenting the masjid, giving talks, hosting events, leading ‘movements’) to win adulation and respect from members of the community as opposed to doing it from the goodness of their own hearts.

They do shocking things just to be in the center of attention. And because they are our brothers and sisters, we often have a high toleration for them. It is important to recognize narcissism as a disease and not try to make sense of the absurdities and inconsistencies that exist in their lives. We can’t rationalize the irrational. We’ll drive ourselves crazy trying to make sense of their madness. Instead, we just have to chalk it up to the disease and then move on.

I am writing this because I believe each one of us has been affected by someone who is narcissitic. We may have loved ones, a father, brother, son, mother, sister, aunt, uncle, cousin, friend, husband, or wife, who is one. If you don’t know of one, then you should really assess your own behavior and see if you have narcissistic traits. If you find yourself afflicted by it, you should do some serious work on purifying your heart and curing yourself of this debilitating disease.

The Ahadeeth on Excellence of Reciting the Qur'an

-From Imam Nawawi's Gardens of the Righteous (Riyad al-Salihin) : chapter-180

(tr. Ustadha Ayesha Bewley)

991. Abu Umama said, "I heard the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, say, 'Recite the Qur'an. It will appear on the Day of Rising as an intercessor for its people.'" [Muslim]

992. an-Nawwas ibn Sam'an said, "I heard the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, say, 'On the Day of Rising the Qur'an will be brought with the people who used to act by it in this world, preceded by Surat al-Baqara (2) and Ali 'Imran (3), arguing on behalf of those who knew them.'" [Muslim]

993. 'Uthman reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "The best of you is the one who learns the Qur'an and teaches it." [al-Bukhari]

994. 'A'isha reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "Someone who recites the Qur'an and is fluent in it, is with the noble pious angels. Someone who recites the Qur'an and stammers in it has two rewards as it is difficult for him." [Agreed upon]

995. Abu Musa al-Ash'ari reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "The metaphor of a believer who recites the Qur'an is that of a citron - its scent is fragrant and its taste is good. The metaphor of a believer who does not recite the Qur'an is that of a date - it has no scent but its taste is sweet. The metaphor of a hypocrite who recites the Qur'an is that of basil - its scent is fragrant but its taste is bitter. The metaphor of a hypocrite who does not recite the Qur'an is that of colocynth - it has no scent and its taste is bitter." [Agreed upon]

996. 'Umar ibn al-Khattab reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "By this Book Allah elevates some people and abases others." [Muslim]

997. Ibn 'Umar reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "You can only have envy for two things: for a man to whom Allah has given the Qur'an and he gets up and recites it throughout the night, and for a man to whom Allah has given wealth and he spends it throughout the night and the day." [Agreed upon]

998. Al-Bara' ibn 'Azib said, "A man was reciting Surat al-Kahf (18) and he had a horse with him tethered by two ropes. Then a cloud came over him and began to draw near and his horse began to shy away from it. In the morning he went to the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, and mentioned that to him and he said, 'That was the Sakina which descended on account of the Qur'an.'" [Agreed upon]

999. Ibn Mas'ud reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "Whoever recites a letter of the Book of Allah earns a good deed, and each good deed is worth ten like it. I do not say that 'Alif-lam-mim' is one letter, but that alif is a letter, lam is a letter, mim is a letter." [at-Tirmidhi]

1000. Ibn 'Abbas stated that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "A person who has nothing of the Qur'an inside him is like a ruined house." [at-Tirmidhi]

1001. 'Abdullah ibn 'Amr ibn al-'As reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "It will be said to those who know the Qur'an, 'Recite and ascend. Recite slowly as you did in the world below. Your station will be at the last verse you recite.'" [Abu Dawud and at-Tirmidhi]

184. Chapter: On the Recommendation to meet together for recitation 

1023. Abu Hurayra reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "People do not meet in one of the houses of Allah to recite the Book of Allah and study it together without tranquillity descending on them, mercy covering them, the angels encircling them and Allah mentioning them to those who are with Him." [Muslim]

Description of the Sahaba (ra)

Description of the Sahaba (ra)

The Companions of the Prophet (salallaahu 'alaihi wa'sallam) were also youths, but:
They were youths, yet mature youths, their eyes fresh and free of evil, their feet refrained from approaching falsehood and futility. They sacrificed and expended themselves in worship and in withholding themselves from sleep. They sold their souls which were to pass away for souls which would never die. Allaah saw them in the latter part of the night, bending their backs, reciting the Qur'aan.

Whenever one of them came to an Ayah mentioning Paradise, he would weep, longing for it. Whenever he came upon an Ayah mentioning the fire he would groan out of fear, as if the Hell-fire were directly in front of him. The earth devoured their knees their hands and their foreheads.

They joined exhaustion in the night with exhaustion in the day. Their colour becoming yellowed and their bodies emaciated through standing long in prayer and frequent fasting - whilst they regarded their own actions to be negligible before Allaah. They fulfilled their covenant with Allaah and attained Allaah's promise.Jamarah Khutabil 'Arab (2/475) of Ahmad Zakiyy Safwat

 Are we true belivers??? Compare The qualities of the true Believers (SAHABAH) with ourselves...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم


The following is a description of the True Believers that is the Companions of the Prophet (saw), the SAHABAH by Hasan Al Basri (rahimahullah). Taken from the english translation of : Saviours of Islamic Spirit-By Sheikh Abul Hasan Ali Nadvi.

Description of the Sahabah
Hasan Al Basari comparing the moral conditions of his own times with that of the Prophet's companions and delineating (outlining) the Islamic ethics, he observes:

"Alas, people have gone to rack and ruin through their own fond hopes and daydreams, they talk but do not act; knowledge is there but without endurance, faith they have, but no conviction, men are here, but without brains; a crowd here is , but not a single soul agreeable to one's heart; people come here simply to go away; they acknowledge the truth , then deny it and make things lawful and unlawful at their sweetwill. Is your religion a sensual delight? If you are asked 'Do you have faith in the Day of Judgment?' You say: 'Yes' But , No, it is not so! I swear by the Lord o the Day of Requital that your answer is wrong.
It's only beseeming(matching) for the faithful that he should be sound of faith and a man of conviction, his knowledge entails forbearance(patience) as moderation is an adornment for the learned. He is wise but soft-hearted, well dressed and restrained in order to conceal his indegenre, never prodigal(extravagant) even if a man of substance, charitable and compassionate to the destitute, large-hearted and generous in giving to the kinsfolk their due, strenuous and unflinching in providing justice to others; never crosses the prescribed limits in favoring his near and dear ones not does he find fault or cull out the errors of those whom he dislikes. A Muslim is indifferent to revilings and taunting, frolics and sports, decrials and backbitings. He never runs after what is not his right nor denies what he owes to others, never debases himself in seeking an apology nor takes delight in the misfortune or misdeed of others."




" Humble and submissive, devoted and enchanted, as a faithful is in his prayers, he is a messenger of cheer, his endurance is owing to the awe of Allah; his silence is for meditation and reflection; he pays attention for edification and instruction; he seeks company of the learned for acquiring knowledge; keeps mum to avoid transgression; and if he speaks, he speaks to spread the virtue. A Muslim is pleased when he acts virtuously; entreats forgiveness from the Lord when he goes astray, complains when he is aggrieved only to make for the loss sustained; is patient and prudent when an illiterate joins issue with him; proves enduring when ill-treated, he is never unjust and never seeks succor or protection from anyone save Allah the Almighty."




" Dignified in the company of their friends, praising Allah when they were left alone, content with the lawful gains. Grateful when easy of means. resigned when in distress. remembering Allah Almighty among the indolent(inactive) and craving the grace of Allah when among the pious. Such were the companions of the Prophet (saw), their associates and friends. No matter what station they occupied in life. they were held in high esteem by their compatriots and when they died, their spirit took flight to the blessed Companionship on High, as the most celebrated souls. O' Muslims, these were your righteous ancestors, but when you deviated from the right path, Allah Almighty too withheld his blessings from you. ' Lo' Allah changeth not the condition of a folk until they (first) change that which is in their hearts, and if Allah willeth misfortune for a fold there is none that can repel it, nor have they a defender beside Him.' (Ar-Ra'd-11)"

On the meaning and reality of love for the Prophet (SAWS)-Qadhi Aiyadh R.A.

On the meaning and reality of love for the Prophet (peace and blessing be upon him)

People disagree about what constitutes love of Allah and the Prophet. They have many things to say about it, but in reality, they are referring to different states.

Hadhrat Sufyan  Thawri (RA) said, "Love consists of following the Messenger of Allah." It was as if he were thinking of the words of Allah, "Say-if you love Allah, then follow me." (3:31) One of the scholars said, "Love of the Messenger is to believe in his victory, protect his Sunna, obey it and to fear being in opposition to him."

One of the scholars said, "Love is constant remembrance of the beloved." Another said, "It is preferring the beloved." Another said, "Love is yearning for the beloved." One of the scholars said, "Love is- the heart following the will of its master, loving what he loves and hating what he hates." Another said, "Love is the heart's inclination to be in harmony with the beloved." Most of these statements indicate the fruits of love rather than its reality.

The reality of love is to incline to what one finds agreeable and harmonious, either-

1. by the pleasure in its (outer) perfection – like love of beautiful forms, melodious sounds, delicious foods and drink to which one naturally inclines because they are agreeable;
2. or by pleasure in the perfection of its noble inner qualities which is sensed by the intellect and heart–- like love for the righteous, scholars and people of correct behaviour whose marvellous lives and good actions have been related. Man's nature inclines to intense love for these sorts of things to the point of fanaticism. Such partisanship of one group against another and sectarianism within a nation can result in homelands being abandoned, inviolable things being dishonoured, and lives lost;
3. or someone can love something because he finds it agreeable by reason of gaining benefit and blessing from it. The self is naturally disposed to love that which is good to it.

When you have understood this well, then examine these three causes of love in respect of the Prophet (SAWS) and you will find that all three things which inspire love apply to him.

The beauty of his form and outward appearance and the perfection of his character have already been mentioned (and are well known), so there is no need to say any more about them.

 

As regards the benefit and blessing his community gains from him, we have already mentioned the qualities he possessed – his compassion for them, his mercy for them, his guiding them, his tenderness for them and his striving to save them from the Fire. He is, "merciful, compassionate to the believers," (9:128) and "a mercy to the worlds," (21:107) and, "a bringer of good news, a warner and a caller to Allah by His permission." (33:45-46) "He recites its signs to them and purifies them and teaches them the Book and the Wisdom," (62:2) and "guides them to a straight path." (5:16)

What goodness could be worthier or of greater importance than his goodness to all the believers! What favour could be more universally beneficial and of greater use than his blessing to all the Muslims since he is their means to guidance, the one who rescues them from blind error, and the one who summons them to success and honour?

He is their means to their Lord and their intercessor. He speaks up on their behalf and bears witness for them and brings them to eternal life and everlasting bliss. So it should be clear to you that love of the Prophet must be an obligation in the Shari'a because of the sound traditions we have related and the nature of his overflowing goodness and universal beauty we have just mentioned.

If a man can love someone who is generous to him just once or twice in this world, as is well known to be the case, or someone who saves him from destruction or harm even once, when that damage and harm are only of a temporary nature, then the one who gives him undying bliss and protects him from the eternal punishment of Hellfire should be loved more.

A king is loved when his behaviour is good and a ruler is loved for his upright conduct. Someone who lives far away is loved for their knowledge or noble character. Whoever possesses all these qualities in total perfection is more entitled to be loved and more deserving of attachment. 'Ali (RA), describing the Prophet (SAWS), said, "Whoever saw him suddenly was in awe of him. Whoever mixed with him loved him." We mentioned that one of the Companions could not turn his eyes away because of his love for him.                   

          -Adapted from Kitab Al Shifa by Qadhi Aiyadh R.A.

The signs of love of the Prophet (SAWS)- Qadhi Aiyadh R.A.

The signs of love of the Prophet (peace and blessing be upon him)

Know that someone who loves a person prefers them and prefers what they like. Otherwise, he is a pretender, insincere in his love. Someone who has true love of the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, will manifest the following signs.

1. The first sign is that he will emulate him, apply his Sunna, follow his words and deeds, obey his commands and avoid his prohibitions and take on his adab in ease and hardship, joy and despair. Allah testifies to that, "Say-if you love Allah, then follow me and Allah will love you." (3:31)
2. He will prefer what the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, has laid down as law and encouraged, over his own passions and appetites. Allah said, "Those who were already settled in the abode, and in belief, before they came, love those who have emigrated to them and do not find in their breasts any need for what they have been given and prefer them to themselves even if they themselves are in want." (59:9)
3. His anger against people will only be for the sake of the pleasure of Allah. Anas ibn Malik said, "The Messenger of Allah said to me, 'My son, if you can be without any grudge in your heart against anyone in the morning and evening, be like that.' Then he added, 'My son, that is part of my Sunna. Whoever gives life to my sunna has loved me and whoever loves me is with me in the Garden.'" (at-Tirmidhi). Anyone who possesses this particular quality has perfect love for Allah and His Messenger. Anyone slightly lacking in it is imperfect in his love, while not entirely devoid of it. The proof of this is in what the Prophet said about the man who was given the punishment for drinking. A man there cursed him and the Prophet said, "Do not curse him. He loves Allah and His Messenger." (al-Bayhaqi)
4. Another of the signs of love for the Prophet is to mention him often. Whoever loves something mentions it a lot.
5. Another is great yearning to meet him. Every lover yearns for their beloved. When the Ash'arite clan came to Madina, they chanted, "Tomorrow we will meet those we love, Mohammed and his Companions!"
6. One of its signs is that as well as mentioning him often, someone who loves him will exalt and respect him when he mentions him and display humility and abasement when he hears his name. Ishaq at-Tujibi said, "Whenever the Companions of the Prophet heard his name after he died, they were humble, their skins trembled and they wept. It was the same with many of the Followers. Some of them act like that out of love and yearning for him, others out of respect and esteem."
7. Another sign is love for those who love the Prophet and the people of his house and his Companions, both of the Muhajirun and Ansar, for his sake. Such a person will also be hostile to those who hate them and curse them. Whoever loves anyone, loves those he loves. The Prophet said about al-Hasan and al-Husayn, "O Allah, I love them, so love them." In al-Hasan's variant, "O Allah, I love him, so love the one who loves him." He also said, "Whoever loves them loves me. Whoever loves me loves Allah. Whoever hates them hates me. Whoever hates me hates Allah." (al-Bukhari) He said, "Allah! Allah! My Companions! Do not make them targets after me! Whoever loves them loves them by loving me. Whoever hates them hates them by hating me. Whoever does something hurtful to them does something hurtful to me. Whoever does something hurtful to me does something hurtful to Allah. Whoever does something hurtful to Allah is about to be seized." (at-Tirmidhi) He said about Fatima, "She is a part of me. Whoever hates her hates me." (al-Bukhari) He said to 'A'isha about Usama ibn Zayd, "Love him for I love him." (at-Tirmidhi) He said, "The sign of true faith is love for the Ansar and the sign of hypocrisy is hatred for them." (al-Bukhari and Muslim) In a hadith related by Ibn 'Umar we find, "Whoever loves the Arabs, loves them because he loves me. Whoever hates them hates them because he hates me." In reality, whoever loves someone loves everything he loves. This was certainly the case with the Salaf, even regarding permitted things and the appetites of the self. Anas once saw the Prophet reaching for the pumpkin in the plate. He said, "I have loved pumpkin from that day." Al-Hasan ibn 'Ali, 'Abdullah ibn 'Abbas and Ibn Ja'far came to Salma [a servant of the Prophet] and asked her to prepare some food for them which the Messenger of Allah liked. Ibn 'Umar began to wear tanned sandals dyed yellow when he saw the Prophet wearing ones like that.
8. Another sign is hatred for anyone who hates Allah and His Messenger, having enmity towards all who have enmity towards him, avoidance of all those who oppose his Sunna and introduce innovations into his Deen, and finding every matter contrary to his Shari'a burdensome. Allah says, "You will not find any people who believe in Allah and the Last Day who having love for anyone who opposes Allah and His Messenger." (58:22) His Companions killed their loved ones and fought their fathers and sons to gain the pleasure of the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace. 'Abdullah ibn 'Abdullah ibn Ubayy said to him, "If you had wanted, I would have brought you his head (his father's)."
9. Another sign of it is love for the Qur'an which the Prophet brought, by which he guided and was guided, and whose character he took on so that 'A'isha said, "His character was the Qur'an." Part of love for the Qur'an is its recitation and acting by it and understanding it, and loving his sunna and keeping within its limits. Sahl ibn 'Abdullah said, "The sign of the love of Allah is love of the Qur'an. The sign of love of the Qur'an is love of the Prophet. The sign of love of the Prophet is love of the Sunna. The sign of love of the Sunna is love of the Next World. The sign of love of the Next World is hatred for this world. The sign of hatred for this world is that you do not store up any of it except for provision and what you need to arrive safely in the Next World." Ibn Mas'ud said, "No one needs to ask himself about anything except the Qur'an. If he loves the Qur'an, he loves Allah and His Messenger."
10. One of the signs of love for the Prophet is having compassion for his community (Ummah), giving them good counsel, striving for their best interests and removing what is harmful from them just as the Prophet was "compassionate, merciful to the believers." (9:128)
11. One of the signs of perfect love is that the one who aspires to it does without (unneccessary wealth) in this world and prefers poverty. The Prophet said to Abu Sa'id al-Khudri, "Poverty for those among you who love me comes quicker than a flood from the top of the mountain to the bottom." (at-Tirmidhi) In a hadith from 'Abdullah b. Mughaffal, a man said to the Prophet, "O Messenger of Allah, I love you." He said, "Take care what you say!" He said, "By Allah, I love you" three times. He said, "If you love me, then prepare for poverty quickly." There is a similar hadith from Abu Sa'id al-Khudri.

                                                                                                                                                                         Taken from Imam Qadhi Aiyadh's 'Kitab Al-Shifa'