Saturday, August 29, 2015

Maintaining relationships even with those relatives who break the relations & abuse:

Maintaining relationships even with those relatives who break the relationship & abuse it:

Maintaining good relations with those who are good with us is easy and indicates a general human tendency. The real mujahida (inner struggle) and test of character lies in our response to those relatives who abuse and ill-treat us. For, an untamed Nafs will always be craving for revenge. Only an Allah-fearing soul can attempt to treat with kindness even those who are not it's well-wishers. Such a fortunate person is called as 'Al-Waasil' by the Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam).

Narrated Abdullah bin Amr (RA): The Prophet (PBUH) said, “Al-Waasil is not the one who recompenses the good done to him by his relatives, but Al-Waasil is the one who keeps good relations with those relatives who had severed the bond of kinship with him.” (Bukhari)

It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) that a man said: O Messenger of Allah, I have relatives with whom I try to keep in touch, but they cut me off. I treat them well, but they abuse me. I am patient and kind towards them, but they insult me. He (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “If you are as you say, then it is as if you are putting hot ashes in their mouths. Allah will continue to support you as long as you continue to do that.” (Muslim)

Someone asked the Holy Prophet (Peace be up on him), “What is the way of saving oneself in the Hereafter?” He replied: “You maintain the ties (of relationship) with the one who severed it with you, you give to the one who deprived you, and you forgive the one who wronged you.” (Tirmidhi)
The lessons we draw from these Hadiths are:

1. Islam came to set all our relationships right. This includes our relations with Allah as well as with other human beings. Silat-ur-Rahim (maintaining bonds of Blood-relationships) is a very important part of the latter. And it applies even to those relatives who are not good to one. So, there is no excuse for cutting-off family relationships.
2. Allah's support is guaranteed to the 'Waasil'.
3. It is the way of saving oneself in the Hereafter.

The other big benefit of this is that the one who practices this patiently and consistently hoping only for Allah's grace will attain control over his Nafs and achieve Tazkiya.

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